Exhausted But Still In Pursuit: Day 9

December 31, 2015 "Exhausted But Still Not Done" Pastor Howard-John Wesley

"Gideon and the three hundred men came to the Jordan and crossed it. They were exhausted but still in pursuit". - Judges 8:4

So I heard this message by Pastor Howard-John Wesley and was very convicted. I was reminded of all that I said I wanted to do and still haven't done yet. It's easy when fatigue set in to start thinking about quitting but this message reminded me how we need to lean into our why in those moments. God has brought me too far for me to try and sever the momentum out of weariness. This struggle as of late has been a fruitful and productive one. The following scripture has been on my mind as I go through my daily work: "Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day" - 2 Corinthians 4:16 (NIV). I am really just getting started, just catching the rhythm of my work and I believe it will take on new forms and I will conintue to evolve. But overall I need to keep swimming and pace myself.

It's in the process of pursuit which we reap the product.. As my vision board echoes, I don't wan't to arrive ill prepared, but having gone through the proper process in order to be primed on time. It's important to remember too that God is doing work in the kingdom and not just for me, so my attentiveness is entangled with the destiny of so many other people. It would be selfish of me to stop. We need to keep going for each other. As Rev. Dr. King said,

“In a real sense all life is inter-related. All men are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly. I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be, and you can never be what you ought to be until I am what I ought to be...This is the inter-related structure of reality".

Onward and upward we rise.

At Capacity: Day 8

I was driving to work yesterday and was so down because of how tired I was. I didn't sleep well the night before and my spirit was a bit broken from the sheer volume of work. I was previously taking a break from music to focus more on my own worship and voice, but as I realized there are limitations to our strength. I turned on some Maverick City Music and it really pushed me into a new mindset for the day. I had so much more gratitude for my position and the opportunity in front of me.

From this learned that it is important to allow God to minster to you through the music. I remember saying that God is about to give me a global glimpse into my future. I'm really in the thick of it right now. At the start of the day I was not preserving the peace in my life, therefore I was not able to dwell in where I was, and I'm thankful that that was grounded.

I have truly been working at full capacity when it comes to my profession. I realized that this is where God wants me to be, because if not at full capacity I would continue to be reliant on self. But it is in this state which I am sensitive and mindful towards where my strength comes from. Thank you God for brining me to my capacity because this is where you will stretch and strengthen me for what is to come. Here is holy.

Galatians 6:7-10

7 Do not be deceived:God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.8 Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. 9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. 10 Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.

There's More: Day 7

"Society is commonly cheap. We meet at very short intervals not having had time to acquire any new value for each other"- Henry David Thoreau

What are we really doing here?

Sometimes I feel like I'm not getting the most out of the people I am around. I wonder about the complexities that I've gotten too comfortable with seeing from the surface. Being seven days in I feel good about where I'm at. There's definitely room for more growth.