Don't Let Your Religion Get in the Way of God: Day 4

Religion: the belief in and worship of a superhuman power or powers, especially a God or gods.

- a particular system of faith and worship.

- a pursuit or interest to which someone ascribes supreme importance.

To be clear about the vantage point in which I'm about to speak from. I believe: "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life".- John 3:16 I believe that God has a plan for this world and for each and every one of us because Jesus said, “It is written, ‘Man is not to live on bread only. Man is to live by every word that God speaks.’”Matthew 4:4

When God Speaks

One of the things I've learned over the years through fasting is that it's not as much of a fixed period of strict discipline, as much as its about being grounded in spiritual and scriptural principles which strengthen our discernment [or God given insight] to adapt and evolve as we go forward.

One of my biggest challenges in fasting and in life, is being able to stick to my word. When I say I'm going to do something I need to stick to it right? Yes, but it doesn't always pan out in the way I think it will. I have a phrase on my vision board for the year which says "cast a wide net". This is what it means to be "Spirit led", by allowing myself to have goals and expectations about a situation, but remaining open to shifts and changes.

Honest

Open

Transparent example:

At the start of this fast I told myself I'm not eating after 12pm. Now I set this parameter with the aim of being able to be more intentional with what I eat and the way I eat. I've learned so much about this which I've shared a bit of in my previous entry, but then I ran into a revelation (revealed truth) yesterday. Since another one of my intentions is being disciplined in stewarding over my body through fitness and working out, my body therefore needs nutrition and to be filled in order for me to see the fruit of this commitment and work. Now here's the crossroad. I could've deferred back to my word and been like "I am being filled God can do it, he'll provide, he's enough, I jut gotta go harder". Ummm yes AND that would be foolish because now you have a revelation about your goals conflicting Laurence. Anytime we increase in knowledge, it's imparted to us so that we can eventually change the course of our actions [which I think 1 Corinthians 13:12 eloquently points to].

I ask God to "show me the way" and pray "thy will be done" but when he reveals himself and his hopes for me, I need to move. This isn't easy, but it becomes easier when you defer not to what you say but the voice of the One who see's everything and has the plan for your life. So how yesterday I ate again at 8pm when my dad brought home dinner, and I was still able to be present. I had a sincere reverence for that gesture from my father because my body was in need and he fulfilled it. Yesterday crystalized in a new way what it means to be provided for. Now living at home, I have the luxury and privilege of being provided for in greater proximity than anywhere else, and I do take that for granted sometimes. But that moment allowed me to recenter. This wouldn't have been possible if I never came home after grad school, if I allowed my pride and stubbornness to lead me, if I would've been too caught up in what my peers from Harvard were doing, if I wouldn't have broken loose of my own words, I wouldn't be here. But it was because I allowed myself to be lead, back home, that I'm here with this message today.

Being spirit led requires faith. That is not easy but it is worth it. This fast is not easy but it is worth it and I am thankful to see the fruit of it each day. I'm thankful to walk in new knowledge each day, I'm thankful that when I thought I couldn't do it I felt the grace of God telling me I can, and he uses actual people to do that. It's not just a mystical voice lol. To be all powerful means He can use your circumstance, He can use your environment, and He can use you, right where you are.

"Be still and know that I am God. I will be honored among the nations. I will be honored in the earth!" (Psalm 46:10)

Breakfast: Breaking the Fast: Day 3

When I broke my fast for the first time on day 2 to eat during my window, I started with an apple. It was such an intimate experience, intimate because of how personal the journey was for me. The act of absorbing the food in front of me became a cherished moment, one I could dwell in. I had my book with me which I began to read shortly after but my focus was on the action. So much of my eating process is often woven into watching tv, listening to music, and other forms of entertainment, which can all definitely heighten an experience. But this was a nourishing reminder of the opportunity we have to dwell with our bodies and dwell on the things we are consuming, more critically.

Eating with "traditional" utensils can be a very disconnected practice. It dawned on me that the use of my fork really was making me forget the fundamental practice of eating. Eating is fundamentally about connection. I try to always pray and say grace before I eat, allowing me to connect with God and thank Him for providing, thanking the hands that helped prepare the meal so that it could arrive to me, and asking that He bless me so I can help bless the less fortunate. The next connection that we have the opportunity to make is with our body. When we consume, we're bringing outside energies into our interior sanctum.

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship" (Romans 12:1).

The question becomes, what is my body's posture towards God?

The thrust of this journey has been the inclination that I'm being called to greater in the stewardship of my body. The better I steward over my body, the more I am able to channel the Holy Spirit that guides me. I've seen this manifest many time in my art. As a spoken word artist, my voice is very important and I can only pour from that which is in me & can come through me. I would argue that the degree in which I am able to access that which is in me, is dependent upon what I allow myself to consume.

I heard it like this before "what you stop will starve and what you feed will flourish".

Dwelling in the Dirt: Day 2

This mantra of Dwelling in the Dirt came to me around mid January. As I was reflecting on the journey it has been in returning back home and now standing in the midst of my dreams, I am constantly at a tension with where I hope to be next. But as Coach Prime, Deion Sanders, puts it "be where your feet are at".

I've been home since May '22 when I finished school and it truly has exceeded expectation. My hesitancy in coming home was because I honestly felt like other places could offer me more. My theology was flawed. I realized I was therefore saying that I believe God can provide for me anywhere but home. I was wrong. That's a more lengthier story for another day but to put things plain, it took a lot to get back home. Now with my full time profession, I have a tremendous opportunity to build something in the workplace but also in my own life as a young adult. I feel God saying that in order for me to allow you to flourish in this season, I need you to embrace where you are and trust where I have planted you. It is in this dwelling that our seed [whether it be a vision for ourself or any infant idea and conception] can be properly nurtured and our roots can be established. I do not merely want to exist in passivity, but I want to live consciously and openly in this dirt.

Heideger in his book, Poetry, Language, Thought has a chapter on Building Dwelling Thinking. Here he raises attention to the Gothic wunian, which means "to be at peace, to be brought to peace, and to remain in peace." Further he asserts that the word for peace, Friede, the free, means to be "preserved from harm and danger, preserved from something, safeguarded".

"The fundamental character of dwelling is the sparing and preserving".

On day 2 of this fast I have felt much lighter. Clarity is ever evolving but with this language I'm learning to be more intentional about my effort to preserve. When I meet with my students, I hope to preserve hope. When I call a friend, I hope to preserve the relationship we've built. When I write, I preserve thought and case it for the reflective pleasure of myself as well as whoever may be led to engage. This ability to be free and to free others with our words is such a divine and good gift. I'm thankful for all God has spared me from and I am thankful for how he's preserving me in this season so that I may have hopeful longevity and integrity.